Super Mario Bros 300
by Alienpredator20054
Summary: Mario and Luigi are in for they're hilarious 300th adventure! And probably more. Rated R for frequent use of bad words and much other explicit content.
1. Bowser

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 1: Bowser

Mario and Luigi are adventuring. Why? Guess. Bowser asked them to come to the castle.

"Mario, did you turn off the TV before we left?" Luigi asked.

"Of course I…crap!" Mario yelled.

"Oh god, Mario, our bills will be, like, four fucking million dollars!" Luigi yelled.

"Shut up!" Mario kicked Luigi in the nuts.

"Jesus, Mario! You suck!" Luigi yelled. They walked on. "Hey, Mario, ain't Bowser gay?"

"Don't fucking know," Mario said.

They saw a Goomba. It touched Luigi and he shrunk.

"Hey! He fucking shrunk me!" Luigi yelled in a very high-pitched voice.

"Ha ha ha!" Mario laughed.

"Okay, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts when I'm normal again!" yelled Luigi.

"Shit, I want a pizza," said Mario, going off-track for a moment.

"Hey, a Mushroom! Brace yourself Mario!" Luigi said. Mario grabbed the mushroom before Luigi and went Super Mario.

"Oh, I fucking hate you!" Luigi yelled. Mario squashed him. He lost one of his 3 lives. Mario lost his Super Mushroom. Luigi kicked him in the nuts.

"Jesus, Luigi!" Mario yelled, "that fucking hurt!"

Mario punched Luigi in the nuts. Punching hurts much more than kicking. Luigi started peeing, peeing BLOOD! He peed on Mario.

"Hey, bitch!" Mario yelled.

"Shut the fuck up! I'm getting revenge on you!" Luigi yelled, "you can't fucking talk back during revenge!"

Mario ran away. When they stopped their feud, they forgot where Bowser's Place was.

"Where _is_ Bowser's Place, Mario?" Luigi asked.

"Hey, isn't it that scary castle up there with Bowser's big fucked-up face on it?" Mario asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Luigi said. They walked up to Bowser's steps. They walked up 2 of the 4 steps.

"Fuck, I am so tired!" Luigi said.

"Yeah, I know! We took 2 whole steps up steps and 10 other steps from home! That's fucking tiring!" Mario said.

"Well, we are halfway up," Luigi said.

They walked up the other 2 steps. Luigi almost fainted from so much exhaustion.

"Fuck, I almost fucking died!" Luigi said.

They got to the castle.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Mario and Zuigi!" Bowser said.

"_Lu_igi you leader of gay people!" Luigi yelled.

"To live you must go through BOWSER'S GAME SHOW!"

**TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2…**


	2. Bowser's Game Show

Yes, when there is a quote that ends with a cut off sign (a long dash) then the quotation marks will look like ".

Example:

"Today is—"

But, what the hell. Get ready. This is chapter 2 of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 2: Bowser's Game Show

"Okay, Mario dunces!" Bowser said, "if you want to win a million dollars, you must win!"

"We don't want to win—" Mario got cut off by Luigi.

"I want to win a million, but I want to kill this gay leader of gays," Luigi said, "but I want the million first."

"Okay, question 1. What is my name?" Bowser asked.

"Um…Wa—Wario?" Luigi asked.

"No, you dunce, it's Peach!" Mario said.

"No, dunces! Bowser!" Bowser said, "go home!"

"No, go on with question 2," Mario said.

"No, go home!" Bowser insisted.

"Not until we win the million dollars," Luigi insisted.

"Well, you'll never win the million dollars, but here's question 2. What question number is this?" Bowser asked.

"Uh, 3?" Mario asked.

"4?" Luigi asked.

"What the fuck—you guys are stupid!" Bowser commented on the stupid answers, "the answer was 2! Here's number 3. How do you spell 'it'?"

"Um, C-R-A-C-K?" Mario answered.

"That's crack you idiot! Man, you guys must be on crack!" Bowser commented.

"Uh, yeah!" Luigi said.

"Anyways, number 4. When you go home, what will you guys do?" Bowser asked, "oh, crap. I need better question cards."

"We'll get home and smoke some more crack! And we'll keep doing it until we're so high we can't even puke!" Luigi said.

"Oooookay, a little too much information, but there's no way to incorrectly answer the question," Bowser said.

"Yeah, I'm on more crack than Luigi," Mario said, "Luigi drank soda before we left, I smoked extra crack before we left."

"God, you two are fucking insane!" Bowser yelled.

"Question 5. How many legs does a spider have?" Bowser asked.

"52!" Luigi answered.

"B!" Mario answered.

"Incorrect! The answer is 8," Bowser remarked.

"No way, butthole! It's B!" Mario yelled.

"Mario, B is a fucking letter," Luigi said.

"No FUCKing way B is a letter!" Mario yelled.

"Alright, go home until you're not on crack anymore!" Bowser said.

"Okay! We'll bong!" Mario said.

"No smoking at all, asshole!" Bowser yelled.

Mario and Luigi went home. They smoked cigarettes, cigars, crack, bongs and joints. They got stoned. They were so stoned they watched Barney and laughed at it. Then they fell asleep.

**WHAT ARE THEIR DREAMS? CHAPTER 3 WILL REVEAL IT…**


	3. Dreams

Okay, in the last chapter, Bowser has a game show for Mario and Luigi. It is revealed that Mario and Luigi smoked crack. They went home and got so fucking stoned they fell asleep. Ready for Dreams?

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 3: Dreams

Mario is in a garden. He is watching Luigi water carrots.

"Luigi, why are we fucking watering carrots?" Mario asked.

"Because, I want to lose weight," Luigi said. Then a colorful spider walked up to them.

"Hey, you two Mario and Luigi Mario?" the spider asked.

"No. Go away," Mario replied.

"Hey, I've been searching all FUCKING day for those two, and I wanted to deliver some old kung fu movies to you guys," the spider yelled.

"Yeah, that's us!" Mario remarked.

"Mario, are you sure this guy's legit?" Luigi asked.

"Hey, who's on crack here, you or me?" Mario asked, "that's what I thought."

"Man, you'll love these DVDs. Bruce Lee, the Kung Fu God," the spider said.

"Fuck yeah!" Mario commented.

"Okay, that'll be 25 cents for each DVD, 1 dollar total," the spider said.

"1 dollar? That's too expensive! Oh, wait, I have 2 dollars! Here's a 1 dollar tip!" Mario said.

"Damn it, Mario!" Luigi angrily yelled, "I was saving that for some Dr. Pepper at 7 Eleven!"

"I'm going to pull an all-nighter watching these DVDs!" Mario announced.

"Hey, can I watch too?" the spider asked.

"Sure, why the hell not?" Mario replied.

That was Mario's dream. He woke up and laughed some more at Barney, but Luigi didn't wake up yet.

Luigi is walking through a dark field. A bunch of scary-looking trees are surrounding him.

"D-d-damn, I've gotta lay off the c-c-crack," Luigi said.

"BOO!" Mario screamed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Luigi screamed.

"Jesus! You are too fucking easy, Luigi!" Mario laughed.

"M-M-Mario…it w-wasn't that! L-L-Look behind y-y-you!" Luigi whispered, too scared to talk any louder. Mario turned around.

"HOLY SHIT!" Mario screamed, "IT'S KING BOO!"

King Boo chased them through the dark field. Luigi's dream was definitely NOT as bright and happy and colorful as Mario's dream, as for King Boo ate Mario. Luigi woke up, screaming.

"Mario, you're still alive," Luigi panicked.

"Yeah, of course I am!" Mario said, "why? Did you have another scary dream?"

"Yeah, but I think I'll be fine as long as you play Mallrats over and over," Luigi said, still a little startled from the dream.

"Well, then, let's watch Mallrats!" Mario concluded!

"Okay. Phew," Luigi sighed in relief, "Mario, why don't we lay off being stoners?"

"Yeah, I guess," Mario replied.

**WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN CHAPTER 4? ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IS TOO READ SUPER MARIO BROS. 300 WHEN CHAPTER 4 IS UP!**


	4. Rain Check

In the 2nd chapter, Mario and Luigi fell asleep, which lead to the last chapter, where they had their dreams. Mario's dream was about a colorful spider delivering him Japanese Sonic X DVDs with English subtitles. Luigi's dream was about King Boo chasing him and Mario. In the end, Luigi wanted to give up being a stoner. Mario agreed.

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 4: Rain Check

Mario and Luigi stopped being stoners and decided to play baseball.

"Mario, apparently our team is playing 1 game and 1 game only…forever. I'm worried we'll only play 1 game," Luigi said.

"Luigi, we can always take back up going on adventures if our baseball is finished," Mario comforted, "besides, we have gone on 299 adventures, we need to do it 1 more time to get to 300."

"Yeah, you're right," Luigi agreed, "I worry too much." They went out to the baseball field. The 1st inning began. Mario was up. He swung. STRIKE 1! STRIKE 2! He swung at the ball a 3rd time and sent it out of the park for a good homerun! 1-0. Luigi's up.

He swung and missed. STRIKE 1! STRIKE 2! STRIKE 3, YOU'RE OUT!

"Aw, shit!" Luigi said, staring at the field.

The rest of the team went until the 1st inning was over. Well, the top of the 1st. The bottom of the 1st began. 31-0. A player of the team swung the ball way out into the parking lot…with bases loaded! 31-4. 2 outs had already been made. Another player went up to bat. STRIKE 1! STRIKE 2! STRIKE 3, YOU'RE OUT!

"Damn it!" that player yelled. Mario's team went up to bat again. Luigi was up. Rain began to fall.

"Ah, a little rain can't hurt us," Luigi said. But when he finished saying that, a lightning bolt struck pretty close to the field.

"Okay, we're gonna call the game off until next week!" the announcer of the game said, getting the instructions.

"Damn!" Mario yelled in disgust, "let's quit, Luigi!"

They went home angry.

**IN THE NEXT CHAPTER…THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!**


	5. Super Mario Bros 300

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi played baseball for 1 inning when rain fell and lightning struck. Mario quit. Luigi quit. Their former team now sucks because their best player left. Now, in this chapter, the adventure begins.

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 5: Super Mario Bros. 300

Mario and Luigi sat at home staring at the TV. Mallrats (big surprise) was on.

"Luigi, why do you watch this 30 times a day?" Mario asked.

"Why don't I have any other movies? You took all my Adam Sandler crap," Luigi answered.

"Oh, yeah. I'll give them all back if you stop watching this movie now!" Mario said.

Mario gave back all 30+ of Luigi's Sandler films. Then something white came in through the window.

"What the fuck?" Mario thought. He read the letter.

"Greetings, buttcracks! It is I, Bowser! I wanted to tell you that I have kidnapped the princess…for the 300th time and I also bought a rare Bon Jovi Have a Nice Day Japanese Import! The bonus tracks kick ass! With great love, King Morton Bowser Koopa, Sr." the letter read.

"Well, um, he kidnapped the princess for about 297 times. Remember, Luigi?" Mario asked.

"Then how would this be our 300th adventure?" Luigi asked.

"Do you remember when I defeated Donkey Kong…well, you weren't there, but also when we cleaned out Brooklyn's pipes, remember? And the Sub-Con adventure?" Mario questioned.

"Sub-Con was all your dream, remember?" Luigi said.

"Oh, yeah. Well, since we had an adventure, I like to count that. But, anyway, arguing aside, let's go save Peach!" Mario concluded. They walked outside when Yoshi popped up.

"Yoshi, not today," Mario said.

"Yeah, I heard," Yoshi said, "that butthole Bowser kidnapped Peach again. I was just over Wario's. We got stoned."

"I don't think it's healthy for a dinosaur to get stoned," Luigi said.

"Shut up, fuckhead! I command you, now!" Yoshi yelled.

"No, you don't," Luigi said.

"Let's go," Mario said, running away.

They ran 500 miles from the very stoned Yoshi. They found a map.

"Hey, this could be useful!" Mario said.

"How, exactly?" Luigi asked.

"This could lead us to butthole Bowser's castle," Mario replied, "let's use it."

They ventured on. Mario rolled up and put the map in his pocket.

"Where to, Mario?" Luigi asked.

"Hmm," Mario thought out loud, "we can't just go straight to Bowser's castle, can we?"

"Can we?" Luigi asked.

"Shut up!" Mario yelled, "I'm thinking to myself."

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Hello, buttcracks! Enjoying the adventure?" a voice came from the sky.

"It's Bowser!" Mario yelled when he saw the face of the voice.

"I've come to give you this!" Bowser threw something at them. It was a piece of folded paper. Mario unfolded the paper, but nothing was written on it. Instead, a bright light flashed, and the Mushroom Kingdom changed! It changed into the map Mario had in his pocket. A big door with the number 1 was right in front of them.

"Enjoy the adventure! Worst of luck to you! See ya!" Bowser said. Mario and Luigi entered the door. They were in a different world.

"I don't think we're in the Mushroom Kingdom anymore," Luigi said.

**WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? WHERE THE HELL ARE MARIO AND LUIGI? CHAPTER 6…UP SOON!**


	6. Entrance World

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi enter a whole different world through a door with the number 1 on it. Their adventure only began.

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 6: Entrance World

"Where the hell are we?" Mario asked.

"Why don't you check the map?" Luigi asked.

"Oh, yeah!" Mario remembered.

"Dumbass," Luigi muttered.

Mario checked the map, "the map says World 1: Entrance World. It also says we're in World 1-1."

"Hence the fact we entered a door that said 1 on it," Luigi added. They walked along a straight path when a big screen appeared before them.

"Hey, buttcracks! You are only in 1 stage in 1 world of all 8 worlds of the adventure! Gwa ha ha ha ha!" Bowser appeared on the screen, "even after the adventure, you'll still never win. This time I really know I'll win! Oh, one more thing! You only have 300 seconds to adventure through each level! If not, you'll be teleported back to the beginning! This also goes for if you get touched while minimized or if you fall into a pit or pit of lava!"

"Shit," Luigi commented. They ran down the straight line down to the goal. World 1-1 complete. Mario and Luigi walk out of the door and watch it get destroyed. They continue down the path to the door with 2 on it, but, before the door with the 2, there are 2 ways to go!

"2 ways to go," Mario thought, "it'd probably be best to go to 1-2 and then the other way, but we could skip 1-2 and go straight to—"

"Hey, Mario," Luigi said, "could you please stop staring at the scenery and pick a path?"

"Let's go to the door with the 2," Mario said.

"Alright," replied Luigi. They entered the door.

As soon as they entered the door, a Goomba was walking up to them, getting ready to shrink them.

"Uh-oh! A Goomba!" Luigi shrieked.

"Luigi," Mario impatiently said, "did you forget I could squash the Goomba?"

"Oh, yeah," Luigi remembered. Mario jumped on the Goomba and squashed it. Then they ventured through that stage. They found 3 Koopas lined up.

"Die, fucked up yellow turtles!" Mario yelled.

"Hey, they're not evil are they?" Luigi asked, "lately they haven't been too evil. They've even been my sidekicks in soccer!"

"We can help you defeat Bowser!" 1 Koopa said, "here's a secret. Go through that pipe. It will lead you to a room with a straight path. Go through that pipe. It will lead you to the exit."

"Uh-oh! Mario, we should use the warp pipe!" Luigi gasped.

"Why?" Mario asked.

"Because…we have…52 seconds left!" Luigi answered.

"Oh, shit! Sorry, Koopas, but we've gotta split!" Mario yelled, running fast to the pipe.

"Hey, wait for me!" Luigi said, running a little behind. They took the Koopas' advice and it led them to the exit. They were right!

"Hey, the Koopas really were on the good side!" Mario commented.

"Yeah. I think they've changed a bit. Now the green ones are good and red ones are bad," Luigi said.

"I find that racist!" Mario yelled, "anyways, where's the next stage?" He grabbed the map, "oh, first there's a fortress! Let's go!" Mario and Luigi entered the fortress.

**WILL THEY SURVIVE IN THE FORTRESS? READ CHAPTER 7 OF SUPER MARIO BROS. 300 WHEN IT IS UP!**


	7. The First Fortress

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi completed World 1-1 and World 1-2. At the end, they found the first fortress of their adventure. Now, what happens as they're in the castle?

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 7: The First Fortress

Mario and Luigi entered the fortress. It was a dark place. A skeletal Koopa was walking along the path.

"Any fast way out of here?" Mario asked it. It bit him on the foot. "Ow! You little bastard!" Mario kicked it. It fell to pieces.

"Let's go. We've already wasted 20 seconds," Luigi pointed out. They left. The skeleton pieces came back together!

They came up to a big platform. They didn't care and just jumped onto it. They both got squashed by a big Thwomp!

"Ow! Buttcrack!" Mario said. He tried to kick the Thwomp, but got minimized!

"Mario! Grab a mushroom!" Luigi said.

"Yes," Mario replied, "I don't want to teleport back to the beginning!"

Mario searched for a mushroom. Finally, after 105 seconds, he found one.

"Mario! 160 seconds left!" Luigi pointed to the adventure clock. He had it on his arm like a watch.

"Oh, shit! Let's hurry!" Mario hit a block and a lightning bolt came out. Mario grabbed it and sped up beyond belief. Luigi grabbed one, too. Pretty soon, he reached the warp pipe.

"Come on, Luigi!" he jumped in. Luigi followed him. The warped to a room with 107 skeletal Koopas!

"Well, we have 158 seconds left on the clock," Luigi said, "let's crack them all open!"

"2 seconds, huh?" Mario thought, "just like Sonic the Hedgehog."

"You stomp them all, I'll find some fire flowers," Luigi instructed.

"Alright!" Mario replied, "this'll only take a few seconds!" He stomped on each and every one of them, but by the time he stomped the last one, the first few he stomped on came back together!

"Luigi! Grab the raccoon leaf!" Mario yelled. Luigi was far away, but still heard Mario.

"Yeah!" Luigi answered. He searched for 2 of them. By the time he found them, all 107 skeletal Koopas have been stomped on, with the first few pulling themselves back together. Mario became raccoon Mario and killed them all with the tail whip. They could pull themselves together, but they'd be in the pit of death!

"Alright! We are almost at the—" Mario spoke too soon. Before he said "end", the hurry up music began to play from Luigi's clock.

"Uh-oh, we've gotta hurry! 99 seconds left!" Luigi yelled.

"I'll go find a lightning bolt. You stay here," Mario instructed. Luigi stayed.

Something was behind Luigi, though. He turned around, and it was a Boo! But, when he turned back around, he heard Mario say, "yes! 2 lightning bolts!" He ran back and gave Luigi a lightning bolt. They ran to the last warp pipe in 1 second.

They entered the warp pipe. It led them out of the fortress. The exit back to the map was standing right in front of them.

"We're finally out," Mario said, "that's one fucked up fortress."

"Where to next, Mario? 1-3? A warp to world 2? The exit to world 2?" Luigi asked.

"Hold on! I'm about to look!" Mario looked, "the world 1 castle."

"Wow, only 2 stages and 1 fortress in this world, eh?" Luigi said.

"Well, it is the first world," Mario commented.

"Still, though, damn!" Luigi remarked.

They went to the world 1 castle.

**WHAT OBSTACLES LAY IN THE CASTLE? 8 WILL BE UP SOON…**


	8. World 1 Castle

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi entered the first fortress of their adventure. When they cleared that fortress, the found out that their next level would be the end of world 1: the World 1 Castle.

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 8: World 1 Castle

"Well, let's go," Mario said as they entered the castle. It was even darker than the fortress! But, light appeared from the blue, shiny tiles on the ground, so Mario and Luigi could see the way.

"Hey, Mario, time's not running out from the timer," Luigi looked at the timer, "it's staying at 300!"

"I think that means that we have no time limit for this castle," Mario guessed, "anyway, let's get back to the adventure."

More skeletal Koopas walked towards them.

"Wacky skeletons coming at us!" Mario yelled. He jumped on all of them. He ran away before they could pull back together.

They looked around for some blocks. Mario wasn't paying any attention when he got minimized by a blue Goomba!

"Ah, dammit!" Mario yelled, "that bitch shrunk me!"

Luigi laughed a little then he squashed the Goomba, "Mario, we've gotta find a Mushroom for you!" He searched around for a Mushroom. He found a block. He hit it, and a Golden Mushroom came out!

"Hey, what's this?" he asked. He didn't hesitate to bring it to Mario, though, "here, I found you a gold one!" Mario touched it and became Gigantic Mario! He was only Gigantic Mario for 15 seconds, though.

"Whoa, damn!" Luigi commented, "you became a friggin giant!"

"Shit, man!" Mario said, "well, we can't just rest here! Let's go!"

They ventured on until they found 3 pipes.

"What the hell is this?" Mario asked, "oh, yeah! Choice pipes! I say we pick the middle one!" They went to the middle one, and it teleported them into a room. It had no enemies and a door to the right.

"Huh?" Luigi said.

"Come on," Mario said. They went into the door.

They were in another empty room! But this time, no door. But, then, Larry Koopa came running in!

"It's Larry!" Mario yelled.

"If you want to go on, you have to get past me, first! That won't be easy!" Larry said.

"Shut up!" Mario kicked Larry. He ran away, crying.

"I'll be back!" he yelled.

Mario and Luigi did a victory dance when Larry came back.

"What the fuck, child!" Mario said.

"Told you I'd be back," Larry pointed out, "that was just a trick!"

"Bring it on, buttcrack!" Mario taunted. They fought. Larry punched Mario in the face. He then kicked Luigi in the nuts.

"Oh, why do I always get the nuts shots?" he asked. He fell to the ground.

"Luigi, nooooooooo!" Mario yelled, tears running down his eyes, "come on, bitch! I'll fuck you up!" He kicked Larry around the room and still wasn't finished. He punched Larry in the face and kicked him in the nuts. He grabbed Larry and threw him on the ground and then jumped on him, knocking him out. A pipe arose from the ground.

"Luigi, are you okay?" Mario asked.

"Yeah, I'll be just fine…" Luigi answered, a little hurt. He got up, slowly, and jumped in the pipe after Mario. They were outside of the castle! The reached the goal. After they exited through the exit door, a ferry was waiting to take Mario to world 2. He and Luigi jumped on.

Meanwhile, at Bowser's castle…

"Nooooo! Larry's been defeated…again!" Bowser screamed, "wait, they'll never get past world 2! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" He calmed down.

**WHERE IS WORLD 2? WHAT IS WORLD 2'S NAME? WILL MARIO AND LUIGI GET PAST THE FIRST STAGE? TO BE REVEALED IN CHAPTER 9…**


	9. The Start of the Next World

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi ventured through the World 1 castle. But that was 2006. Mario and Luigi have spent 2 years smoking weed, so this story wasn't updated in quite a while, but now, in 2008, chapter 9 is finally here! Prepare for some newness of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 9: The Start of the Next World

The ferry traveled until is saw land. It came to a sudden stop. Everything on the boat shook up.

"Ow, fuck!" Mario grunted. He looked around. Luigi was gone. "Luigi? Where the hell did you go?" Mario jumped off the boat. Luigi was swimming in the water.

"Hey, bro!" Luigi yelled from the river.

"Luigi, fucking swim to shore right now, or I'll beat your ass when we enter World 2-1!" Mario yelled back. Luigi gulped and swam to shore. When he arrived at shore, Mario punched him in the face. Luigi slipped and fell back into the water. When he got back onto land, he shoved Mario.

"What was that for? You just fucking pushed me," he ranted, "you told me to swim to shore, so I came, and then you pushed me into the water again!"

"You...came?" Mario asked. Luigi got the joke instantly and laughed. He put his arm around Mario's shoulder in a friendly fashion.

"I can't stay mad at you, bro." The two walked toward World 2.

MEANWHILE...

Bowser cried in his chair, "I'm so screwed!" Lemmy walked toward him.

"What's going on now, pop? What are you bitching about?" Lemmy asked.

"HEY!" Bowser roared, "you don't fucking call your dad a bitch! That's bad manners!"

"Sorry," Lemmy mumbled, "you fucking whore."

"That's better. You mumble your true feelings. Anyway, I'm _bitching_ about how the Mario Hos are actually coming along pretty well on their adventure. They'll be at World 8 tonight, I just fucking know it!"

"Stop being a bitch!" Lemmy yelled. Bowser charged at him.

MEANWHILE...AGAIN...

Mario and Luigi venture through and endless island.

"Where are we?" Mario asked.

"Check the map," Luigi answered.

"No, no, I can't, remember? I sold it to the captain for weed."

"Shit...we're screwed."

**WHERE THE HELL ARE MARIO AND LUIGI? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF SUPER MARIO BROS. 300!**


	10. Raiders of the Lost Map

In the last chapter, Mario pretty much sold the map to the captain for weed. Now, they have no idea where the fuck they are. But now, they will find out in chapter 10 of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 10: Raiders of the Lost Map

"Why the hell did you sell the map? FOR WEED?" Luigi commented.

"...I was in the mood to get baked!" Mario nervously answered.

"Well this is just great! We have no FUCKING idea where we FUCKING are and no FUCKING way to FUCKING get back FUCKING home! Bowser must be FUCKING laughing at us!"

"Alright, now, just shut up. Now, the captain has our map, right? The ferry doesn't leave the island until 8:30 PM. Right now it's 5:30. That leaves us 3 hours to get the map back, right? Let's just go, grab the map, and come back! We still have all our weed, right?"

"Yeah, because I didn't even KNOW about any fucking weed until now," Luigi mumbled.

"We can just give back his weed, and we can get our map back. It's the perfect plan! Let's go!" Mario and Luigi ventured toward the ship.

MEANWHILE...

Bowser watched Mario and Luigi backtrack via a TV screen. He was confused.

"Why the hell are they going back?" Bowser asked himself. "They didn't lose anything, did they? Oh, well! This is better for me!" Bowser laughed.

MEANWHILE...AGAIN...

Mario and Luigi backtracked to the ship. A big chunk of the ship's front was destroyed. Mario and Luigi ran inside the ship. The captain was on the ground, badly hurt.

"Captain! What happened?" Mario asked.

"What the fuck does it look like you fucking dipshit? They came, fucked me up, took the map, and left," the captain answered.

"Who's "they"?" Luigi asked.

"Who do you think?" Mario commented. "It has to be Bowser and his crew of Goombas."

"No," the captain interrupted, "I did manage to get a glance at the people. They were all humans."

"Fuck!" Mario exclaimed. "That rules out my decision. Where did they go? Did you see them leave?"

The captain points toward the sea, "I saw them go that way. They said something about leaving this fake world and going back to the real world."

"Well, that's a good reason to take our map," Mario said, "but we need to finish our quest against Bowser. Ain't that right, bro?" Luigi shakes his head, "yeah!" Mario jumps off the boat into the water. "Well, let's go, Luigi!" Luigi jumps off the boat, too.

"Are you sure this will work?" Luigi asked.

"Don't be a dumbass!" Mario answered, "of course it'll work!"

"But, Mario! We have no way to get past the water other than swimming!" Luigi exclaimed.

"Luigi, what could happen? Worst case scenario: we run out of breath and drown, and that won't happen! We're the Mario Bros. dammit!"

"Okay, you'd better be FUCKING right!" Luigi yelled.

MEANWHILE...

Bowser watched the Mario Bros. swimming. He was laughing maniacally.

"For I plan I didn't think up, this is working perfectly!"

MEANWHILE...UGH...HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY THIS?

Mario and Luigi finally swim to land.

"Phew, we made it!" Luigi said.

"No shit," Mario commented. 3 men run toward Mario and Luigi.

"Hey!" 1 of them called, "who the hell're you and what the hell're you doin' here?"

Mario answered, "I'm Mario, this is my brother Luigi. We're here to retrieve a map we lost. Some people stole our map, and we need that map to finish our quest."

"Hmm," another man said, "good luck finding it."

"Oh, well thank you for being so kind," Mario said, "bye." They ventured on.

"We probably have that map," 1 of the men whispered. Mario overheard it, however, "what?"

"Oh, shit..." that man regretted whispering.

"Show me the map," Mario said kindly. One man holds the map in front of Mario. It's Mario's map.

"That _is_ our map!" Luigi yelled, "give it back!"

"Okay," the man holding the map said. He threw the map to Luigi. "That was easy," Mario said to himself.

"Thanks," Luigi said. The two ventured back toward the sea. They made it back to the ship.

"Captain!" Mario yelled from the sea. "We found the map!" There was no answer. The two went inside to find the captain dead. Luigi screamed, but Mario kicked him in the nuts to shut him up.

"Man, our captain's dead. How could this have happened? ...Oh well. At least now we don't have to give our weed back." Mario said. The two left the ship. The ventured toward the endless island.

**WHAT IS ON THIS ISLAND? ALL TO BE REVEALED IN CHAPTER 11!**


	11. Sea World

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi went on a mini-quest for their missing map. Suprisingly, the people that stole the map gave the Mario Bros. the map without difficulty. Now, the Mario Bros. will continue their quest in chapter 11 of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 11: Sea World

"Those men were actually pretty nice," Luigi said.

"Yeah, they were, surprisingly." Mario commented back. "Okay, let's check the map. Oh...wait! This is the world 1 map! We're screwed!"

"No, Mario, this is a new invention. It's called iMap. You can touch the edges, and the map will move in the direction you touch."

"...You've lost me."

"Okay," Luigi began to explain. "Say you wanted to go right, right? Just press the right edge, and the map will move to the right! Cool, eh? Also, you can hook up your iPod, and it'll play music!"

"What kind of egghead invented this?" Mario asked.

MEANWHILE...

"Hey!" Bowser angrily yelled, "I invented the iMap!"

300,000 people spawned out of nowhere and stared at Bowser.

"What? I needed someplace to listen to Fall Out Boy!"

All 300,000 people ran away in disgust. Bowser cried.

MEANWHILE (SIGH)...I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING SHOOT THE DIRECTOR...

"Mario, it's my turn to listen to the iMap!" Luigi said, "we've been listening to fucking DragonForce the last hour! Don't get me wrong, there a good band, but..."

"But what, Luigi? You want to listen to your fucking Pantera? You want some Def Leppard to play? How about some Ozzy? That's why I'm the author's favorite, Luigi."

"Actually, the author told me I was his favorite because I like all the same bands he does."

"Oh yeah? Well..." Mario tried to think of something to say, "...fuck you!"

Mario and Luigi walked endlessly through the island. Eventually, they reached the door with the "1" on it.

"Here we are!" Luigi exclaimed.

"No shit," Mario said.

The two enter the door.

**WHAT DANGERS ARE IN WORLD 2-1? CHAPTER 12 WILL TELL IT ALL...**


	12. The First Real Level of World 2

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi began their quest of World 2: Sea World. Now, they've reached the door with the "1" on it. What'll happen in chapter 12 of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 12: The First Real Level (of World 2)

Mario and Luigi entered the door. But, nothing was on the other end! All there was in this level was blank abyss. Mario and Luigi dropped for what seemed like a century. Finally, they landed in a sea of water. Mario looked for the map in his hand, but it disappeared!

"Hey, the fucking map is gone again!" Mario yelled out. Luigi looked and saw the map floating across the sea. He yelled out, "there it is!" Mario swam fucking fast as anything and caught the map.

He swam toward land and jumped up onto the land, "I caught it!" He was so excited, however, he tripped and fell back into the water.

"Fuck..." he said, trying to climb back onto land, but he fell off again, "shit!"

"Mario..." Luigi said.

"What now?" Mario asked.

"The timer...we're down to 175!"

"Oh, shit!" Mario climbed onto land and ran.

"Mario!" Luigi called, "you're going the wrong way!"

"I knew that!" Mario said, turning back to Luigi. Mario took the soaking wet map out of his pocket and checked it. He could surprisingly see which direction to venture in, "Luigi, we venture to the right!"

Mario and Luigi ran to the right. Luigi checked the timer, "we're actually making good timing. 163 seconds left!"

"Shit!" Mario commented, still running, "I would've thought we'd take a LITTLE longer than that, you know?" Koopas spawn out of nowhere. Red Koopas.

"Shit..." Mario said, "of course! When we actually get lucky, something has to fuck it up!"

**WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 13!**

* * *

**HA HA...I BET YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS OVER FOR A SECOND, DIDN'T YOU? YOU'RE SO DUMB! ESPECIALLY IF YOU WERE TRICKED BY THIS! NOT EVEN A BABY COULD BE FOOLED BY THIS!**

The red Koopas ran toward Mario.

"What are the Koopas only running toward me?" Mario asked, "because I'm red? That's racist!"

"Come on, let's run! Not much time left!" Luigi yelled. Mario didn't ask how much time was left, he just ran.

"Hey! Get back here you fat red bastard!" 1 Koopa yelled.

Mario stopped, almost crying. "I'm not fat!" He began to cry. "Wario's fat!" Wario spawned out of nowhere and cried. He ran home.

MEANWHILE...YEEEEEEEEEEEEEET AGAIN

Bowser bursted out laughing. "That's so fucking funny!" 8,159,592,304,923 people spawned out of nowhere and starting laughing with Bowser, but Bowser thought they were laughing _at_ him. He started crying. "Shut up! You don't know my pain!" The 8,159,592,304,923 people stopped laughing for a minute. The 7,293,109,111,435th person said, "we weren't laughing _at_ you, we were laughing _with_ you." Bowser didn't believe him and ran away, crying.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYWAYS...

Mario and Luigi continue to make it to the end of the level. But they were constantly jumped by Goombas and Koopas, especially Mario. "Why the fuck does all the Koopas and Goombas go for me?" Mario yelled.

"Maybe they're gay for you," Luigi said. A (male) Koopa wearing a pink Jonas Brothers T-shirt comes in. "I am not!" He runs away in a gay fashion.

"See? They're gay for you," Luigi said. Finally they reach the end.

"Yay! We're done 2-1!" Mario yelled excitedly. They exited the level.

**WHAT'S WORLD 2-2 LIKE? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 13!**


	13. The Unluckiest Chapter Ever

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi finished World 2-1. What lies ahead in World 2-2? Find out in chapter 13 of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 13: The Unluckiest Chapter Ever

"Fuck!" Mario yelled.

"What did you say fuck for, you fucking fucker?" Luigi asked.

"I left my frog suit at home, but the map says World 2: Sea World!"

"Oh, shit...that's fucking unlucky..."

MEANWHILE...MAN, I'M UNLUCKY...

Bowser's 2nd-in-command Koopa walks toward Bowser.

"King Koopa?" The Koopa asked, "we've just recieved word that Mario and Luigi are dead."

"FUCKING YES!!" Bowser screamed. He jumped off his throne, put Dead on Arrival by Fall Out Boy on and began to dance. All of Bowser's workers ran out of the castle in digust. "Eek!" 1 Koopa screamed, "Fall Out Boy is on!" Finally, the 2nd-in-command yelled, "Late April Fool's!" Bowser not only turned off the radio, but punched it to turn it off. "WHAT did you say?" He yelled. "Um...L-Late April Fool's?" The 2nd-in-command repeated, this time scared. Bowser roared, picked up the 2nd-in-command and tossed him into lava, burning the 2nd-in-command to death.

MEANWHILE...YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING ANYMORE

Out of nowhere Mario fell down. "Ow, fuck!"

**IT SEEMS THAT (IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY) YOU'RE UNLUCKY TO GET SUCH A SHORT AND UNFUNNY CHAPTER. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHO CARES! CHAPTER 14 WILL BE GREAT (GULP)...**


	14. Onward to the Next Level

In the last chapter, nothing real important or cool happened. Just a bunch of totally crazy and unlucky events happened because it was chapter 13. Now, what the _fuck_ will happen in chapter 14 of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 14: Onward to the Next Level

Mario and Luigi found the door with the "2" on it. "This must be it," Luigi said, crying. "It's beautiful."

"Shut up, Luigi," Mario melodramatically said. They entered the door. As soon as they entered, a Koopa charged at them with a Bob-Omb strapped to its shell. It exploded in Mario's face.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Mario screamed, "that fucking hurt! It just fucking came up and fucking exploded in my fucking face!"

"Stop saying fuck!" Luigi yelled, "you fucking fuckfaced fucker!"

"Damn it!"

"Watch your language, bitch!"

OKAY, THIS PART'S GETTING A LITTLE TOO RANDOM...SO...MEANWHILE...

Bowser watched the randomness.

"Wow, this is more random than Powerman 5000's genre of music," he commented, "it's funny, though. I gotta start putting hidden cameras around them to videotape this shit and put it on YouTube!"

ALRIGHT...ENOUGH RANDOMNESS...MEANWHILE...(FUCKING STOP WITH THE RANDOMNESS!)

Mario and Luigi somehow made it to a scary forest.

"Is this even still part of World 2-2?" Luigi asked. "Because this doesn't have much to do about water."

"Yeah, this is still World 2-2." Mario stated, "but we're close to the exit."

"Well, all I'm saying is," Luigi began. Mario began to hear noises as Luigi finished talking, "that this level really changed moods and"

"Shut up for a second," Mario cut Luigi off. "Can you hear that?"

"No," Luigi said. He tried to listen carefully, but heard nothing. Something suddenly flew out of the shadows and decapitated Luigi. It quickly flew away. Luigi respawned next to Mario.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" Luigi angrily asked, "I JUST FUCKING DIED!"

"Hmm...you were able to come back," Mario said. "Maybe we can't die in this fake world. Ever!"

"Don't get too excited," a voice came from the distance. A spirit flew toward Mario and Luigi.

"Who are you?" Mario asked.

"I am Deskriak," it said, "I have been assigned by Bowser himself to be your guide. Anyway, you can't die here, but you can die in the World 8 castle."

"Really? Shit..." Luigi responded, "if something comes quickly and decapitates me in the castle...I'm screwed."

"Wait a minute!" Mario yelled, "I know what's going on! This is all _too_ familiar! You aren't our guide! Your the bad guy disguised as our guide! Don't fuck with me! I've played Mortal Kombat: Deception!"

"No, I'm not the bad guy. Trust me," Deskriak said, "seriously, I'm not even in the form of a ball."

"Yes you are," Mario pointed.

"Am I?" Deskriak checked himself. He notices he _is_ in the form of a ball. "Holy shit, I _am_ a ball! This is awkward!"

**SO, MARIO AND LUIGI HAVE GOT A GUIDE NOW! CAN THEY EVEN TRUST HIM?** (author whispering)** OH, THEY CAN TRUST HIM? OH...MY BAD. CUE CARD GUY, WE NEED NEW CARDS!**

(cue card guy writing new cue cards)

**NOW MARIO AND LUIGI HAVE JUST SCORED A GUIDE THEY CAN TRUST...WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH THIS GUIDE GUIDING THEM IN WORLD 2-3? WILL HE HELP, OR CAUSE EVEN MORE TROUBLE? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 15!**


	15. Deskriak

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi finally got a guide to aid them in their quest. What the fuck else will happen in the next chapter of

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 15: Deskriak

"The exit is just ahead." Deskriak announced.

"Really?" Mario asked.

"Nah, I was just fucking with ya...OF COURSE THE EXIT IS AHEAD!!" Deskriak yelled. "Fucking moron," he mumbled.

Mario and Luigi reached the exit. They entered the exit door and exited.

"Mario, Luigi, this is as far as I can travel with you," Deskriak said. "However, you can use me for hints by pointing your Wii Remote at the screen and pressing the (hopefully) not complicated button sequence: A, 1, 2, 1, B, A, A, B, 2, 2, B, B."

"...Or we can just call your name," Mario suggested.

"Yeah, you can do that, too," Deskriak jumped into the air. "I must leave now." Deskriak left. Mario and Luigi traveled on to the door with the "3" on it.

"This must be World 2-3!" Luigi excitedly yelled. "No shit..." Mario mumbled. They entered the door.

46 DAYS LATER...

Mario and Luigi searched for the exit.

"This is _the_ longest level ever!" Mario yelled.

"Hey, call that tour guide," Luigi suggested, "I can't fucking remember his name...Deskroork...Dethklok...Dwarf...Bill..."

"Deskriak!" Mario called. Deskriak spawned, "what?"

"We were..." Mario noticed angry eyebrows on Deskriak, "what are you mad about?"

"It's just...you haven't called!" Deskriak yelled. "It's been 46 days! Did you two stand me up or something?"

"No, we've just been trapped in this fucking long as hell level...so...yeah," Mario explained. "Anyway, we were wondering if you know any way to get us out of here."

"No. Technically, you've still got another 23 days of wandering to reach the exit, and that's assuming you travel nonstop, and don't wander off," Deskriak stated. "_But_," Deskriak whispered, "I have a special power that I'm not supposed to use. In fact, I'm only allowed to let you two use it once a world. I can teleport you to the exit of this level right now."

"Wait, if you're _allowed_ to use this power (even if it's only once a world), then why are you whispering?" Luigi asked.

"...I don't know," Deskriak continued to whisper, "I just like to whisper," Deskriak stopped whispering. "So, do you want me to use this power now, or should I save it?"

"We'll use..." Mario began to say.

"But, let me note, if I use this power in a castle, you can skip a boss battle," Deskriak announced.

"I don't know, Mario. Boss battles can be tough," Luigi commented.

"Luigi...23...more...days! That's 70 days total!" Mario yelled.

"69," Luigi corrected.

"I know," Mario said, "I just tried to thwart the author's plan of having a dirty joke right there by acting like I can't add."

"Wow..." Luigi commented. "You made that sound a _lot_ more dramatic than it actually was."

"I know. Rick says I'm like that," Mario explained.

"Who the hell's Rick?" Luigi asked.

"My imaginary friend," Mario answered. "Sometimes, when I'm sleeping, he stands over my bed with a knife in his hand. Sometimes it's scary, but, you know, it's all good."

"Anyway," Deskriak interrupted.

"Don't fucking interrupt us!" Mario yelled.

"He's right to interrupt us, though," Luigi commented. "We're dragging out the joke too much. If we drag it out, it becomes not funny anymore. Like Family Guy."

"I'm guessing I should use that power?" Deskriak asked. Mario and Luigi ignored him. He sighed and teleported them to the exit. Mario and Luigi didn't question anything and exited.

"Wow. That was really effective, Deskriak," Mario thanked.

"You know. I'm just part God, but it was no problem, really," Deskriak said. "I must leave you again. Remember, I'm available for help anytime. And, once you enter World 3, I'll also be able to use my teleport power again." Deskriak left. Mario and Luigi entered the door with the "4" on it.

When they entered, they were quickly attacked by ghosts.

"GHOSTS!" Luigi screamed. He ran behind a tree. Mario wasn't a coward. He stood and fought the ghosts. When he realized he couldn't fight the ghosts, he pulled out a machine gun and blew them to hell. Luigi came out from behind the tree.

"A-are they gone?" Luigi asked. He saw dead ghost bodies on the floor. "How can ghosts have dead bodies?"

"Luigi..." Mario began, "...I don't fucking know. This is something you've gotta ask the author." Waluigi spawned out of nowhere, "what's up, y'all!" Mario punched Waluigi's head off.

**FATALITY**

Mario and Luigi traveled on. They made it to the exit.

"Already? That was easy," Luigi commented. "No shit," Mario said, as he always does. They exited.

They searched for the next level. They found a fortress and entered it.

**WHAT'S IN THE FORTRESS? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 16! OR WATCH THE SUPER MARIO BROS. 300 EPISODES EXCLUSIVE TO THE XBOX 360** (author whispers)** OH, WE DON'T HAVE THAT DEAL?** (more whispering)** OH, THAT'S GRAND THEFT AUTO IV? OH, OKAY. ANYWAY, FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 16!**


	16. The Sea Fortress

In the last chapter, a lot of things happened. 2-3. More Deskriak. Ghosts. Waluigi. Fatality. Hamburger. Anyway, in chapter 16, things will get more adventurous will still being as funny in

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 16: The Sea Fortress

Mario and Luigi stepped on a platform. The fortress was filled with water, and a platform had to carry Mario and Luigi across the fortress.

"Mario...I'm scared!" Luigi yelled. He started to cry. Mario punched Luigi, making him fall into the water and drown. He respawned on the platform with Mario.

"What the hell was that for?" Luigi asked.

"Because you piss me off," Mario answered. The two were silent until the platform reached its destination: a door floating over nothing at all. No floor. Just the door, and the abyss underneath it.

"How the fuck are we gonna pull this one off?" Luigi asked. Mario thought for a minute, but quickly stopped as the platform keeping them afloat dropped.

**INSANE STUNT PARAGRAPH**

Mario jumped and did flips as Luigi clung to his back. Mario kept flipping. He grabbed the door knob on the door. Luigi fell off of him. Mario opened the door knob and went in through the door. Luigi respawned inside the room.

**END OF INSANE STUNT PARAGRAPH**

"Whoa, shit! I feel like Bruce Willis!" Mario exclaimed.

"And I feel like Justin Long, that fucking sidekick person!" Luigi exclaimed.

"Shut up, you asshole." Mario punched Luigi.

MEANWHILE...WAIT...I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THE FUCKING MEANWHILES! THEY PISS ME THE FUCK OFF!

"These Mario Hos can be quite comedic sometimes," Bowser said to himself. "Now, time to listen to some Backstreet Boys." Bowser had a heart attack before he could put a Backstreet Boys CD in the CD player.

MEANWH...FUCK THIS SHIT...WHEN BOWSER WOKE UP

Bowser woke up. He wasn't in the castle. He was in the hospital.

"How you feeling, Mr. Koopa?" a nurse asked. Bowser grabbed the nurse, picked her up and threw her out the window (all while laying down.)

"I'm feeling better than ever!" Bowser yelled. He teleported back to the castle. He had another heart attack.

BACK WHERE THE MARIO BROS. ARE (YEAH, I'M DONE WITH THE FUCKING MEANWHILES)...

Mario and Luigi's dead bodies were lying on the ground. Mario and Luigi respawned by a window.

"What the fuck was that shit?" Mario asked. "I'm fucking walking, you die for no reason at all, next thing I know, I fucking die and respawn here!"

"I didn't die for no reason," Luigi commented. "I committed suicide." Mario stared shockingly at Luigi.

"Yes, for 13 minutes and 28 seconds I became emo." Luigi responded. "But now, I'm the same Luigi that is completely, totally _not_ emo."

"Luigi, that's serious stuff. When we're done with this adventure...we need to get you some help," Mario commented.

**WILL MARIO & LUIGI MAKE IT OUT OF THE SEA FORTRESS? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 17!**


	17. The Sea Fortress Part 2

In the last chapter, Mario and Luigi started their adventure in the Sea Fortress. That was part 1! Now, for the first time in this story, we bring you a 2-part special! Also, on an unrelated note, happy Martin Luther King Day, everyone!

Super Mario Bros. 300

Chapter 17: The Sea Fortress (Part 2)

MEANW...WHAT THE FUCK? **RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING?** I'M SUING!

Bowser paced in his castle.

"Oh god! What am I going to do?" Bowser paced, "Mario and Luigi are venturing through the Sea Fortress...and I keep having heart attacks!" Bowser sat on his throne.

MEAN...IN THE SEA FORTRESS...

Mario and Luigi got ambushed by Dry Bones. Mario pokes one Dry Bones, making it fall into tiny pieces, thus killing it.

"These Dry Bones fall easy. Luigi, just poke them!" Mario yelled. They poke their way to the end of the fortress.

"OOOOOOOOOOOO-HOHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN!" Mario yelled.

"Mario, don't get cocky," Luigi reminded Mario.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Very well." The two tried to exit the fortress, but their path was blocked by a Boom-Boom.

"Shit..." Mario sighed to himself.

"I...am Boom-Boom!" Boom-Boom yelled.

"Alright, dude," Luigi stopped Boom-Boom for a second, "you can't be epic with a name like Boom-Boom, so don't even fucking try."

"Alright, I was gonna fight you, but, since you decided to mock me, now I'll just let you fucking drown! Have fun!" Boom-Boom jumped away. The castle started leaking, very slowly.

"Wow...Boom-Boom is freaking retarded," Mario exclaimed.

"Why do you say that?" Luigi asked.

"The exit is right there," Mario points to the exit, "we can just go through the exit...and that's that." Mario and Luigi exited the fortress.

...

...

NO, I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT...

Say what?

MEANWHILE...

Haha, made you say "meanwhile"!

OH, SHIT! I FUCKING HATE YOU...

Bowser cried at the sight of Mario and Luigi exiting the Sea Fortress, "this sucks! Oh well, they'll never beat...World 2-4! MUHAHAHAHAHA!"

**WHAT WILL THE MARIO BROS. DO NOW? WILL THEY GO TO WORLD 2-4 (MOST LIKELY) OR WILL THEY QUIT AND GO HOME? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 18!**


End file.
